October 1st, 2024
By Bonnie Tarantino
When Lucia was 5 and Jack 3, we headed to Storrs, Connecticut, where we once lived for two years. I was to attend a Karuna Reiki workshop. While in the workshop, one of the participants invited the group to join her and 50+ other women to disrobe and lay in the middle of the field for a naked aerial photo shoot.
Something in me said yes. I was tired of covering up my new mamma body. I wanted to own my rolls, my fullness, my curves. At 145 pounds, my shame was exhausting, and I knew my judgment of losing my 125 body was stealing my vitality and sensuality. I wanted to throw it all off and spend an hour or so with liberated, embodied, in-your-face kind of women.
So I left the kids with a good friend, jumped in the car, found the markers, and walked through some woods. Once there, I was handed a number and told to go out into the field dressed and find my number and place so I would know where to go when the time was right.
After finding our places, we were told to go back to the edge of the woods and prepare for the cue to disrobe. A woman with a bullhorn gave the direction and then all at once ran to the edge of the woods, took off our clothes then ran back out to the field to find our place. This time, we were naked. We were then told to lie down and wait.
And we did. We waited. After a bit, we heard the sound of the plane.
Then bullhorn apologized. Something had gone wrong up in the airplane with the equipment, and it would be another 10 minutes. “Talk amongst yourselves,” we were instructed.
So, what do women do when they are told to talk amongst themselves? We sat up, respectfully looked around, found each other’s eyes, and it started. We began to laugh and talk. Our voices filled the field like a swarm of bees.
And the 10 min turned into 15, then 20, and then something profound happened. In the middle of that field, I had a healing. Surrounding me were women of every possible color, shape, and size. I noticed, without starring, the texture and quality of the skin, the curves made by time, and the most fantastic thing about beauty. From nipples to birthmarks to stretch marks to mastectomy scars, natural beauty has nothing to do with size and shape. It has everything to do with comfort. The young women with the “right” size and shape looked so unsure and cloaked. The older woman, the ones in their 60s, were radiant and embodied and kept the laughter going like a deep, steady drum.
I was somewhere in the middle. I adjusted the straw beneath me. I leaned back and felt the sun warming all of me. I placed my hands over my belly, grateful for the home it had made for my family. There was beauty there. There was beauty left in me and the potential for me to grow into more and more of it with ease. There was so much beauty all around me and it seeped into my skin as truth always does. Women are so very good at making other women comfortable, especially when we are at our most vulnerable. I would take that with me and hand it out like wildflowers.
The bullhorn announced that the photographer was ready. We were asked to lay down again. It got hushed as we listened for the hum of the plane. In the stillness you could feel joy that only comes after truth and laughter. I sighed a deep breath, and as I did, I felt this deep resonance come over me. PEACE…. and that peace has stayed with me since.
